Before choosing the winner of the Hellfest shirt tuning competition, I desperately need somebody to: – Turn a high resolution cover of Nespithe to 1-3 shirt designs. – Do it for a reasonable price. – Do it very f**king quickly.
If you are such a person, or know somebody, please tell me about it. I’d need the designs within 24 hours or so.
The winners of the Nespithe shirt _idea_ competition will be announced this week. They may or may not be those in the picture attached. The moment the world has awaited for 18 months is now very close! The tension rises. This is the reason why you haven’t been able to live your life fully. The reason your spouse left you. The reason you are alcoholic and addicted to crack cocaine. And fart porn. The reason trees have started bending towards Kuopio, Finland. The reason… – Shut up, idiot, and get back to working.
Yours, Antti Boman, the CEO of Where the *uc* Has My Time Gone, PLC
I have a bunch of special Demilich shirts that were on sale at Hellfest, France. I’d like to sell them for cheap, but I also want to respect the original buyers.
So, I’m looking for your greatest idea for customizing the shirts _easily_ so that they can never be forged to look like the ones that were sold at the event.
Any idea – including cutting, permanent coloring, adding text, sewing grannies on top of them – is welcome! The best one will be used, and the person that suggested it first will get 1) the original, untouched shirt, and 2) the modified one, in any size he/she wants them!
The currently winning idea, gluing a fair trade banana on the top left side of the shirt, is already taken.
And before you ask about it, yes, we will 1) print the Nespithe shirts, 2) have special ones for the Euro tour, 3) get more patches, 4) create new music, and 5) . Well, maybe not the number 5. You know it’s not a good idea, as it’s illegal in most countries.
Yours, Antti Boman, the Artistic Director of Demilich Clothing and Banana Gluing, Inc.
Demilich (FI) & Spectral Voice (US) to tour Europe in September!
Demilich has never toured the home continent, so it was about the time to do it now before death do us part! We’ll have to do it all in two weeks, though, as most of the guys just couldn’t get time off of work. I can give you their bosses’ home addresses, if you like soiling houses with excrements, and who doesn’t? Jyri Lipponen, you’re safe, even though you wouldn’t want to be.
Above all, we’ll get to do this all with our fantastic friends from Spectral Voice! They’ll also get to tour one week more, because their bosses rock! Do you even work, guys?
We’ll also bring some special tour merchandise with us for you to soil with your excrements. After you’ve bought it, of course. More about these soon.
So, soil you in a bit over a month! Have an excrement time before that!
Yours, Antti Boman, the CIO of Department of Obsessive Coprophilia at Demilich PLC
The Demilich-provided Nespithe shirts will be coming, too. And the US tour shirts. And all the other things I’ve promised. Just give me some time, please. I’m in the middle of the hassliest hassle I’ve ever been in.
Hellfest 2018 is finally here (tomorrow), and we have an exclusive shirt available at the festival! It’s the Classic Adversary, but with letters H, E (twice), L (also twice), F, and some other ones I’m too lazy to type now.
To celebrate the birth of Louis van Amstel, we painted the shirt in the colors of a rotated Dutch flag. Or was it the World Cup and Russian colors, but in wrong order? Hard to remember the motivation.
We’ll also bring the beautifully colored Polychromatic Adversary shirts, and French mastermind Chris Moyen’s “I am The Horrifying Adversary Of Emptiness, thus I tickle babies” ladyfit shirts, all available for insanely reasonable prices at the official merchandise desk, on Saturday only!
I planned on announcing the Nespithe shirt competition winners and new batches of logo shirts, but I ran out of bad humor today. More of those in early July. With more bad humor.
Let’s rewind back a bit. We’ll imagine now that it’s Monday, May 21, and Lord Antti Boman, The Always-Punctual And Respected Leader of The Independent Musicians’ And Beautiful People’s Republic Of Demilich, has just crawled back home from the US tour and Steelfest. So, close your eyes, and you’re living in the near history. Now, read the thing below. Yep, with your eyes closed.
Hi everyone! We just got back from the US tour and Steelfest! It was a trip to remember! All shows were fantastic and beyond imagination, packed with audience, and I cannot even think of how horrible my life will be now that I’m settling back to normal life!
First of all, thanks to Jani and Steelfest for the hospitality and one of the greatest festivals on Earth! We’ll be back there for sure, unless we’re not wanted back there!
Thanks to the other Demilich members, too. Touring is hard, but we managed it once again, dudes!
Then, thanks to the audience, the organizers, the interviewers, and everyone who took part in the most amazing tour ever in the USA! We will definitely be back, and tour for a longer time and nation-wide. Hopefully with the same bands and other people who belonged to the tour party, as they are a family to me now. I grew to love every one of them in such a short time. Fortunately I’ll be seeing some of them in September already!
So, the final thanks to these awesome people, sorted by the average ordinal value of the letters in the first name of the person. Why? Because why not. I love them all in any order.
Isaac Faulk, Jeff Barrett, Dan Gargiulo, Oleg Zalman, Andrew Gerrity, Evan Harting, Casey Hogan, Keith Abrami, Jonathan Locastro, Paul Riedl, Thomas Anderer, Will Smith, Morris Kolontyrsky